Hi, I’m Ilia Jones, licensed professional counselor in Suwanee, Georgia, and I’m here to talk to you about what happens if you come to marriage therapy with your partner and you are wondering whether I am going to take sides. I work really hard to be a very neutral party. I believe that both partners typically contribute to most of the marriage conflict, so I try to give pretty fair and equal feedback when I am talking to you about how you each contribute.​

I typically ask partners, “How do you think you contribute to the marriage problem?” People tend to be pretty honest and will say what they believe is their part in it. I try to make sure people take responsibility for their part and not just blame or attack the other person.​

There are times, however, when I do have to call one partner out more than the other because they are being a little bit unrealistic or unreasonable in their demands, or in their harsh language, or in their tone, and I will call somebody out on that. I am not afraid to take a side if I need to, but I do try to be objective and non‑judgmental. I do not always just take the wife’s side just because I’m a wife. I know that almost everybody contributes to the problems in a marriage, and it may not be 50/50, but we all do have a part in conflict.​